Archive July 29, 2018

How to overcome obstacles

Each and everyone has their self-fulfilling goal set for their life; be it in their career or personal life. Most people set goals and later due to instances of numerous hindrances they give up on their goals. Barriers are part of a successful journey. Many times when you take the initial steps towards your goals you start facing intermittent problems after a few steps. Due to these constant obstacles, you might feel that you are stuck in major problems. Majority of people stay stuck and cry over the problems. A few dare to succeed in dealing with the barrier and get out of that situation. Those who dare, later win. Fortune struck to those who are prepared for obstacles to happen. Moreover, even after the occurrence of unfavored events, they win out due to their willpower. If you are feeling stuck too then this article is for you.

Let’s find out about the barriers and how to overcome them:

There can be two types of barriers affecting you

  1. Internal Barriers
  2. External Barriers

Internal Barriers

Internal barriers are those which exist only inside your mind and are not tangible. These are hard to discover because they exist in your subconscious mind. Your behavior, your choices and your approach are influenced by these while resolving an issue. Below are the internal barriers and ways to succeed in dealing with these barriers are:

Eliminate fear

When any obstacle occurs your brain fails to accept it immediately. Making the situation worse, it further generates fear inside you because for your brain every adverse situation is a danger to your existence. Your brain is trained to expect smooth events in your life. Don’t get caught in this ploy. Prepare your mind that problems can occur anywhere and they are solvable. So eliminate all your fears; fear of failure or rejection. Read more about fear in article FEAR.

Break your old and ancient belief

Before tackling any situation break all sort of beliefs you have. These can cause you to block your vision. Sometimes the solution is hiding just behind your beliefs. In another way, your beliefs can block your way to reach the solution. Beliefs can prevent you from looking at the situation from a different perspective.

’Every lock has a key’ attitude –

When you face any problem keep this in mind that ’every lock has a key’ so does every problem has a solution. You must have the positive attitude to solve a problem.

Have patience –

Finding the solution to any problem is not one night task. It may take a while. If you are unable to find a solution immediately that does not mean that you will never find it. So have patience and keep on putting efforts.

Get rid of self-doubt –

Believe in yourself. Don’t let your self-doubt beat you down. Believe that you will do your best and you have the capability to do it.

 

External Barriers

Those barriers which arise due to external factors are external barriers. To overcome these barriers you need a totally different approach as they involve outer world. External Barriers can be like – not finding the customers for your business, you have got an order but don’t have enough resources to finish it, expensive shipping methods etc.

Commit to your work

first of all, Make a commitment to yourself that you will cross the hurdle under every circumstance. No matter how tough the challenge is. Don’t make it your obligation, but make it your wish to commit and fulfill this commitment by finding the resolution to your problem. Develop a positive mindset that no matter what comes your way you will find the solution. Think of the obstacle as an opportunity.

What do you think your barrier is

Find out the real barriers. Many times you think that there are barriers but those are only your own implied assumptions, not the fact. Look for the actual obstacles. Find answers to these questions: For eg. What is it blocking your way? Is it actually a work issue or your attitude/beliefs which is hampering in your progress? Are you being lazy to move forward? Or you are looking at the problem from a wrong perspective. Do a reality check. Reality can be different than we think. Explore the reality of your problem first without incurring your assumptions to it. For eg., You think that you are not finding the customers because they don’t need your product. So you will have to look into another market segment But the reality can be that the customers don’t understand your product because of your confused marketing strategy or sales pitch. Customers are unable to understand how your product can benefit them. Therefore, apply a realistic approach to understand the barrier.

Identify and Evaluate the barrier

When a problem comes in your way, sit back and take a deep breath. I personally prefer to Meditate as it helps you to have a conscious mind, or go for a walk as it helps increase blood circulation which in turn helps you to think sharp. Identify what exactly is your barrier and write it down on a piece of paper. This will give you a clear idea about your problem. Writing is utmost necessary to get all the facts and figures in proper orderly manner. Aforementioned also enables your brain to think more rationally inclined to solve your problem. We, humans, are curious by nature and we love to solve the problem; and once you write it down, you might find a totally different perspective on the problem.  You will definitely find a plan or workaround that you can wholeheartedly transform into a  workable plan. Otherwise, you may be trying to walk in darkness and handling whatever comes to your hand. It is impossible to move forward without a plan. Writing down everything keeps your brain concentrated. Analyse the problem and look at the different perspectives of the problem and solutions to it.

Divide the barrier into smaller steps

By dividing the barrier you will feel less stressed and will be able to cope up with a peaceful mind. You won’t have a rock to climb on only smaller steps will suffice. Smaller problems are easy to resolve and take less time. Therefore by solving smaller ones you feel motivated constantly. As a result, You don’t feel stuck.

Finding a substitute or solution for the problem

Now focus on the exact solution. If you are unable to find something specific then look for substitutes just to keep going with your work.

Check all your resources –

Don’t leave any stone unturned. Check all your resources to find the solution to your problem. Do not give up. Hesitation can be a kind of barrier. If you need a friend’s help then ask for it. He may say No, but there is no harm in asking. Right? otherwise, if you, unfortunately, don’t succeed, then you will be left with this thought for your whole life that had you asked your friend once you could have been successful.

Be Resilient –

Don’t give up easily on your goals. Your approach should be constant towards reaching your goal. Keep putting efforts unless you accomplish exactly what you want. A lot of people are ambitious but very few people are ready to work hard and go through any obstacle which comes their way. If you really want to achieve something in life then be prepared to face the barriers. As it is aptly said, “if you are not facing any problems then be sure that you are on the wrong track”. Learn to make plans to cross the hurdles once you see them coming. Stay focused on your target and have a positive attitude. As long as you are committed then you can achieve anything. Don’t assume the barriers but have a realistic approach. Achieving a target is like running a hurdle race. To win the race you must overcome the hurdles as well as in lesser time. Gird your loins like how you prepare your mind and body in a hurdle race before crossing the hurdle while maintaining the pace. You need more Oxygen and force to jump over a hurdle. In case of a general problem, Oxygen can be the motivation and force can be the passion to achieve your goal.

It needs a strategic approach to cross any obstacle just like you need one to start anything new in life. Try and try again until you succeed. Do you remember when you were a child, you were unstoppable. You would keep on trying to get something done.

Let me explain it with an example :

You must have played video games. Video games generally have levels to succeed and get a limited number of life-lines. When you use all the life-line and get hit, the game is over. But do you ever give up there? No, nobody does that. You keep on coming back and start all over again to finish that game. This is because humans have this nature to cross hurdles. We feel tempted when we find something challenging. Hurdles are the opportunities to learn something new. In a video game you must have ever noticed that when you start over a game again from the first level, you finish that level in lesser time than your previous attempt. It happens because you have learned to cross that level due to your previous mistakes and practice. Crossing those hurdles persistently makes you more expert.

You can use this above-mentioned approach to every aspect of your life. Though I have explained about relationships in the other articles like Nurture every relationship with consciousness and Why don’t marriages work? still, if any problem occur you can use the same approach but using your heart in it.

The Purpose of Life – Demystified

Life is a mystery. Everyone wants to resolve this mystery. There is no end to human curiosity. We are more attracted to mysteries and have a strong desire to resolve them. No one is sure about how and why we came to this life. Though there are many theories about it. Many people have this notion that everyone has a purpose in life. So they start searching for it. Do you also think the same, and are looking for the purpose of life?

The question “What is the purpose of my life?” can be very confusing. Sadly, you may not even be able to find the answer to it at all. Because this question itself is wrong and misleading. Life itself is the purpose of your life. Life is about living it with totality. There can be no other specific purpose in life. You are here to live, to feel alive; to experience the presence of yourself in this world. All other activities are secondary. You may think that your purpose of life is to love, or to achieve happiness, or to become a billionaire. But all these are secondary and can be a part of your existence in this world.

However, this is not everything. While living and enjoying the materialistic things, it is important to live all the moments and feel everything that coexists around you deeply. Don’t fall for philosophical reasoning because these are only the ideas about the possibilities of the purpose of life according to how human beings have been living for thousands of years. That cannot be the truth because that is based on the past. These are only ideologies.

Being who you are, is the most important

Stop changing yourself to meet the expectations of others. You are exactly what and where existence wants you to be. Existence has made everyone unique. Why? Because it knows better; It knows where a person should be and how a person should be. Stop beating yourself for what you are not, but appreciate who you are and what you are.

People may try to change you or force you to change. But then you won’t be yourself anymore. You may copy someone and pretend to be like someone else. But then you will lose your true self. People may generate self-doubt in you. Don’t get affected by it. If you are intelligent enough then you will be able to see behind those people’s intentions.

You will realize that what they are asking you to be is their imaginary form. You have nothing to do with it. If it was not you then they would have done the same with the other person. They don’t want you; they want someone who resembles the image in their mind. They want you to imitate what you are not. If you have someone who does the same with you, then make them realize that they should break that image before dealing with you.

Being you is not that difficult

It’s not that difficult to be YOU, but the people around you make it difficult for you by creating confusion in your mind. So when someone asks you to change, then watch it carefully that “is it really about you or about their own thought?” and act accordingly.

Use your own intelligence. Live your life as who you are. The only reason for aspects of improvements are left in you is so that you can also contribute to your own life. Thus you will evolve. This life is yours and you must have choices to make as for where you would like to take your life and in a way, you would like to live it.

It is like carving a statue. It’s up to you how you want your life to be. If you want to improve and change then it is really appreciable. Change is a positive phenomenon in life. It should always be there. Change is necessary for growth. So change to grow higher but not just to fulfill other’s desires or expectations.

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Nurture every relationship with consciousness

Nurturing Relationship with Consciousness

Humans are social beings. We meet and bond with each other. We need love and affection to fulfill our emotions. Relationship plays a vital role in one’s life. At times it seems tough to deal with some people with whom you are in the relationship. But you love them. You cannot just cut off from them.

Some people keep on carrying their relationships as a burden throughout their life either for the sake of love or social norms. They feel scared to pay heed to these relationships because these are so miserable. They don’t want to discover how these relationships became so sour and what can be done to mend those ties. If they could understand they would have paid more attention with a conscious mind.

So what should you do in such a situation? To have blissful relationships one must nurture relationships with a conscious mind. Healthy relationships don’t happen in a day but take time. They have to be cared for and protected. It’s easier said than done even so efforts are to be made to have long-lasting loving relationships. Let us unravel a few efforts that one needs to do in order to have a fulfilling relationship.

1. Work on yourself

Be aware and more conscious of yourself. Relationships can be part of your life but don’t be so much codependent on others. You must realize that your happiness and sadness should not rely on others, but on yourself.

The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Therefore learn to nurture this relationship. Once you are more conscious of yourself, you will be able to understand the world around you with more cognizances. Read another article “Live a balanced life – A step toward eternal happiness” to learn to live a balanced life.

2. Stop creating images or illusions in your mind

Don’t create images about how others should be with you in the relationship. Don’t expect how should they behave or deal with it. Stop making lists in your mind what you want from others. Rather embrace their characteristics and what they have brought in the relationship.

Every person has his or her personality. Once you start accepting others wholeheartedly for who they are, your love for them will become unconditional. You will be able to see other’s true form. Their actions won’t hurt you anymore. (Read more about this in the article “Forgiveness – The Truth”).

3. A relationship is established just like a child is born

Like a child needs more care in the early days, a relationship also needs the same in the early stage. Once both the persons get to blend in and make a bond then it becomes alive. Then you start living with the other person.

Embrace the relationship. Nurture it with care and love, and then the flower will blossom. Don’t worry when sometimes it seems that something is wrong in the relationship. Just as the tree sheds its old leaves in autumn and new leaves come to replace them in spring. All the disagreements and arguments get solved with time.

4. Communication is a must in every relationship

Communication seems to be very difficult, most of the times due to the limitations of language. Especially in the case of feelings, they are difficult to express in any language.

Also, it’s not sure that what you want to speak, the other person perceives it in the same sense. But keep the fear away. Don’t hide your feeling behind the walls of fear. Let them flow through you and express them so the other person gets a chance to know what you have to say.

5. Sharing is a necessity for every human being

Share your feeling without hesitation. Don’t worry about how another person will take it. He or she may react in the starting but soon will understand what just happened. During tough times don’t leave others in the middle of the storm.

When you have somebody, you don’t leave them aside. You are to be with them, by their side. Do stand for them. A number of individuals start behaving intolerably under numerous circumstances; you need to stay calm and help your loved ones to pass through their rough phase. Don’t leave their side because you feel that their responses are unacceptable. Be compassionate and let your heart go out to your dear ones.

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