Category Self Improvement

How to Stick to Any Resolution in Your Life

How to stick to resolution in life

When the new year arrives, we excitedly indulge in the activity of creating resolutions. But not only new year resolutions, how many of us manage to stick to any resolution?

Many of us often decide to take action to transform life or lifestyle, especially when we face challenging situations like failing an exam or interview or being diagnosed with a disease.

But did we continue to stay firm as we were going through those circumstances?
Yes, this all gives anxiety. After spending countless thoughts formulating plans for the future, we end up with a lack of motivation and enthusiasm that we initially had.
Hence we fail to achieve the desired results.

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A step-by-step Guide to do Mantra Meditation

What is Mantra Meditation?

As the name suggests, in mantra meditation you do mantra chanting. This mantra can be anything like Om, Ram, or anything you like. Mantra chanting is a simple technique of meditation for beginners mostly. But if you do it correctly, it can help you a lot to reach the silent state of mind.

 

Why should I do it?

Mantra meditation is based on the idea of sound energy in the universe. You use sound energy to penetrate your inner center. When you are in sync with the rhythm of your body, only then silence happens. You not only hear sound through your ears but also every pore of your body. Sound impacts your blood circulation, nervous system, and generates different feelings & energies. Sound can energize you or calm your nerves down. 

This is considered to be one of the best meditation techniques. 

Sound has its effect on your body like different musical notes affect different chakras in our body. 

Mantra meditation

It is scientifically proven that all matter responds to sound or vibration. When a sound or vibration is applied to a body, it responds by creating its pattern in the body. This phenomenon was experimented with by Ernst Chladni (German Physicist). It’s called the Chladni pattern. In this experiment, he produced visible patterns on the sand by using sound frequency. 

In the same way, we are also affected by a large number of sounds and vibrations in our daily life, and this infuses a variety of emotions in us.

Mantra meditation works in the same way. It uses sound and vibration to heal our body, clear the blockages, and bring awareness.

 

The correct way to do Mantra Meditation?

Prepare your sacred place: If you are doing it out in nature then you just have to find a silent place where no one disturbs you and you can sit for the whole session in a comfortable position. 

If you are planning to do it indoors, then keep the lights dim. You can also use blindfolds if you feel necessary. 

Meditation music: Music is always a personal choice. If you want to play some background music, then do it. Keep it on low volume. You must be able to hear your voice clearly while mantra chanting. 

Sit in a still and comfortable position: Sit cross-legged on a meditation cushion or chair. Make sure you are comfortable in this position because you need to sit relaxed yet alert for a long time. It is difficult to sit on a hard surface. Don’t be harsh to your body while meditation. It’s necessary to be as comfortable as you can while you’re sitting. 

You can choose any mudra (posture) as per your comfort.

Mantra meditation

Decide which mantra you want to use: I prefer Om. Why? I will tell you the reason in a bit. Decide the one you want to use. Just keep it short and simple. Generally, I suggest Om or Ram.

Relax your body: Inspect from top of your head to toe and make sure your whole body is relaxed.

You can check your toes whether they are relaxed or not. 

How will you check it? Tense your toe muscles and then release them. You will know now that they are in a relaxed position. Then check your feet, legs, your root chakra, stomach, your shoulders, arms, hands, your facial muscle. Check every part of your body and command it to relax. Speak to your body. It’s up to you if you want to use words or just use your heart to command. Just remember to keep your back straight throughout the session.

Close your eyes: You need to keep your eyes closed. It will help you to jump into a meditative state more easily.

Recite the mantra: Now that you are settled in the position, let’s start reciting the mantra in a moderate volume. Remember, you should relax while reciting the mantra. Breathe gently. Breathe in and recite the mantra while breathing out. Do it slow and steady. 

Chanting seems very easy. But it won’t benefit you if you don’t do it correctly. That’s why you may have heard people saying that mediation didn’t make any difference in their lives. 

As you recite the mantra, you will realize that the sound wave will start from the throat and will expand in all directions, towards your brain and navel, then the last consonant of the mantra will strike on the root chakra below your navel. This last hit on the root chakra will break the obstruction in breathing as well as your thoughts. It will clear the path for the sound wave throughout your body. 

Why Om?: I use ‘Om’ because it has an ‘m’ sound at the end which strikes best on the root chakra. 

This sound will echo inside your body. You will feel it as a tornado inside.

If the mantra doesn’t create this sound storm inside, you better understand it well that you must be doing something wrong.

The purpose of the mantra is to generate vibration through sound waves in your body. Your whole body will feel that vibration. 

Repeat the mantra: Whether you do it for 10 min or 1 hour, do it with totality. 

Follow the above steps repeatedly without any mistake and be gentle with your body. 

Sit silently: After 10 min or 1 hour, whatever duration you have decided, stop the chanting and sit silently for 5 minutes. Relax your vocal muscles. Feel the sound waves traveling throughout your body and observe the silence. 

Open your eyes: After 5 minutes, open your eyes gently. Keep silent for some time after sitting. Stay relaxed. 

You have completed your meditation session. You can continue with your routine.

 

Tips to remember

Keep practicing: It may take some days to feel the depth of this meditation, so keep practicing.

Wear comfortable clothes: Wear loose and comfortable clothes for a meditation sitting. If possible then keep two pairs of clothing for alternate days and wear them only for meditation. 

Use the same place: If possible, use the same place for every session as it can help you by concentrating the energy in one place. After some days, your body and mind will slip into meditation as soon as you sit at that place.

Diaphragmatic breathing: Do Diaphragmatic Breathing while meditation. Do not obstruct your breathing or your sound. 

Stay aware: Be watchful without interfering with the sitting. Be present at the moment. Feel everything (energy, sound, silence, etc.) that is happening inside you. Accept it as it is. 

Don’t fall for the mind games: If you are seeing any visions or feeling restlessness in any part of your body, ignore it. These are mind games which mind plays when you try to be the master of your own body. Your mind will trick you to distract you from this path. Because it wants to stay the master of your body by keeping it the same way it used to be. 

Just do it: Don’t try to understand the logic of any meditation technique. Just do it and experience it on your own. 

After your meditation, you will carry this humming sound within you for the rest of the day. This will make you feel pure from the inside. You will feel a new energy in your body. 

And after some days of practice, you will feel peaceful and in tune with yourself. The humming sound (the mantra) will be there inside you all the time. If this technique suits you and you feel comfortable doing it, then keep on practicing. You will see its effects soon. 

How to Make Real-time Friends Without Harming Yourself

How to make friends

Today we’re living in a world where a lot of people feel lonely. We have many social media websites and applications to stay connected with people. We make friends easily. But why are we still facing this loneliness crisis worldwide? And social media is full of it.

So the question is, where and how can I find real friends?

I’ve heard some people say that they want friends, but they can’t find one. Really? Did you make any effort at all

Nobody would come to you and say, ‘Could you please be my friend?’ or ‘I’m dying to be your friend.

Sounds cold, right? But that’s the reality and you know it. Still if you get somebody asking you to befriend them in the way I mentioned above, they must’ve got some ulterior motives. It’s best to avoid such kinds.

Now some of you would say, ‘I don’t need friends. I’m fine being alone.’ But for real? Are you fine being alone? We are social animals. We need friends. Maybe not everyday, but every now and then.

The truth is that friendship is valuable like an asset. You have to build connections to make friends. You have to put effort and invest time.

Perhaps some of you would be thinking, ‘Oh! We do that. We spend hours on social media to connect with people and be there whenever they post something.’

I’ve got a question for you.

Is that enough for you? Be friends just to keep your mind busy? Not to add any value to your life?

It’s been scientifically proven that real friends keep you healthy and help you live longer. In the case of girls, there are studies which show that females need social circles and friends to live a happy life.

So I’ll be answering:

How to find real-time friends?

What’s the right way to choose the right kind of friend?

How to maintain friendships?

It may sound challenging in the beginning, but everything is challenging when you try it for the first time. So let’s get into it.
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Boost Your Day with This One Minute Meditation Practice

One Minute Meditation

Use this short and simple meditation guide to make your everyday life more peaceful and stress-free. (Not for beginners)

For many years, people are trying to figure out how to include meditation in their fast lifestyle. If you are one of those people, this article will surely benefit you. After years of practice, I have come to a realisation that it’s not easy to sit silently even for 10 minutes when you have so many things to do and your mind is completely occupied with all kinds of stuff.

So, when you are so busy doing things that are essential to you, how can you think of meditation which has no direct and visible impact on your life?

Of course, in this perspective meditation seems like a trivial thing and most people ignore it.

Some people start meditation practice forcefully because they are convinced that meditation can free them from physical or mental pain.

So this is the most important thing to keep in mind. Let’s not start meditation practice with such expectations.

Otherwise, you would feel dejected when you don’t get the expected results. Meditation is not some activity to cure, but it simply gives you a blissful feeling. If you really want to see what meditation can do, then just start practicing. Meditation can only be experienced, it cannot be explained in words. One can guide you, but you have to experience it on your own. It’s like to know the taste of a dish you have to eat.

One minute practice

Always remember that you don’t have to take giant leaps to begin, just keep on taking baby steps. For starters, you must know how you can meditate while running nonstop in your day-to-day life.

Take a pause every now and then

When you’re working, doing household chores, about to attend a meeting, or just chilling out at home, take a sudden pause for a minute or two.

Be still and silent

Whether you are in standing or sitting position, become still like a statue. Remember the game you played many times in your childhood, where someone would call you ‘statue’ and you’d instantly stop moving like a still figure. In this practice, you have to command yourself to stop, become still, and remain silent.

Close your eyes and take deep breaths

Breathe from your stomach (do diaphragmatic breathing). Watch your breath. You don’t have to focus on your breath. Just become aware of your breath. Be conscious of each inhalation and exhalation. Watch the breath coming in and going out.

Loosen up your body

Free your body from any kind of stress. Like loosening up your shoulders, face, eyes, arms, wrists, fingers, feet, etc. Let the energy flow freely inside the body. You will realize how much you were holding up. You create tension in your muscles whenever you do any activity or when you go through some emotions. Later you forget to release it.

Become watchful of every passing second

Don’t think too much about the time duration. Separate yourself from the activities around you. Your main focus should NOT be completing this activity of meditation. You just have to sneak out of what you are doing at that moment. This sudden sneaking will allow you to separate from your mind. Watch whatever is happening in your body (the silence, the movement, breathing, joy, thoughts, any other feeling, or whatever it is).

Go deep inside

You will get the glimpse of silence in these moments. Meditation can happen to anyone, anywhere and anytime. It’s ‘happening’, not ‘doing’. Just remember that. You are not meditating, you are just giving it a chance to happen by withdrawing from the outer world. It’s like going deep into the ocean, leaving the waves behind on the surface.

Observe that all the chaos outside is separate from your inner silence

After some days of practice, you will notice that all the hustle is outside of you, while you are peaceful, silent, and stable at your center. Outside hustle has nothing to do with your inner peace. The problem arises when you convince yourself that you are one with every activity around you. Once you realize that your center is still, you will start entering the state of meditation. If you do this practice every day, you will start feeling that stillness all day long, even while working.

Be conscious of the present moment

The sudden shock generated by this pause will make you become more aware of the present moment. Most of the time, your body is awake, but you are sleeping inside. Your body is being run by your subconscious mind. Practice that you are present at this moment of pause and don’t get carried away with the thoughts of past memories. Be present at the moment. This moment of consciousness is the part of your life which you have lived.

Come back

After a minute or two, open your eyes and get back to whatever you were doing and continue doing it again. You will feel relaxed, more energetic, and calm inside afterward.

Things to keep in mind when you do practice

Practice regularly

You may feel crazy when you start doing it. You may think that why are you wasting your time. But let these thoughts pass, don’t stop the practice. You can do it anytime while working, eating, running, or walking. Just do it. Stop for a while and look inside you.

Carry this feeling all day long

Once you get the taste of silence, carry this feeling throughout the day while living your routine life. Now that you know you are not your routine and it is separate from your inner silence, you will start feeling stability in your daily life too.

Feel the joy

These momentary pauses will create the same state of mind you had as a child. When you were always playful and present at a particular moment. Can you feel the same joy now? You will feel it during these pauses. Don’t make it a serious practice. Be playful and enjoy these seconds of your life as if these are the only moments you are alive.

To reach the state of meditation, you don’t have to take one hour out of your daily life. If you can, it’s great. But if you can’t then just start with some seconds.
Sitting silently for an hour seems more difficult than taking silent moments out while working. These silent moments will lead you and show you the path to reach total awareness. Though, you should try using extra minutes in your schedule for longer duration of practice sessions (maybe on weekends).

Also read these Meditation Tips before you start doing this one minute practice.

These small sessions of meditation practice are a need for this hour. Don’t just wait until you get hours of free time. Start practicing and take pauses.

Remember “State of nothingness is meditation.

The shocking revelation of destructive words you use daily

Destructive words - Power of words

Have you ever realized after a fight with anyone that how that fight could be avoided? Or how that fight actually started? Yes, it seems difficult to find the reason behind such bitter experiences. Although we happen to blame our temper or other’s lose temperament for any sort of fight.

We never reach the truth. The truth is that words have the power to resolve the biggest issues and start a war in the world.

We don’t realize that words are powerful because every word generates a certain kind of emotional energy in us. Words can be as powerful as weapons and as relaxing as medicine or love. They can break or preserve someone.

Words can take you to far places in your imagination by stimulating certain emotions and can give you experience as close to reality. This is what a writer does. He/she uses the words to connect with you. You can feel people, places, and situations just by using the correct words.

Usually, we happen to use the wrong words at the wrong time in front of the wrong people. We have the habit to exaggerate any situation or emotion. We use strong words to describe anything.

It’s the same when you are doing self-talk. If somehow you learn to use the right words in the right context, then there will be no fight at all. Life will become easy. Relationships will become sweeter. In short, you will be more relaxed and happy.

I will explain how you generally use destructive words and how can you replace such words.

1. “Negative”

Negative is a strong word. When you say this word you think about all the wrong things that have happened in your life like anger, frustration, failure, etc. You become a negative person with negative energy for that moment. As a result, you spread negativity around you.

Replacing this word
Think of any sentence and practice to use a better, lighter word.

For example:
“Why are you being so negative?” can be replaced by “Don’t be so overwhelmed with the situation” or “Why are you being so concerned about the situation? Everything will be fine.” Or “Why are you assuming or imagining the worst?”

2. “Fail”

This word makes you feel incompetent. And it subconsciously imparts a notion to you that you are NOT CAPABLE of doing the given task/activity.

Fail can be replaced by “The outcome was not as expected.”

Because the fact is that you never fail, you just don’t get the result that you desire.

Failure can be a great teacher. But when you use this word in an unsuccessful situation, you are stressed out. You become more focused on what went wrong. You feel unable to let it go. You stick to the word ‘failure’. You think of all the moments when you couldn’t achieve the desired results. Failures are part and parcel of the learning experience. For example, As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

If you tell anyone that he failed, then you seem like an enemy to that person. Then disagreements, frustration, bitterness happen. Therefore, try to avoid such a harsh word.

3. “Hate”

These days, this word is being used substantially. Like I hate this food or drink or person or place. People don’t realize that this word generates detrimental energy. You can’t expect any good outcome from such energy. It will destroy you and the people around you.

Hate can be replaced with ‘dislike’ or ‘tasteless’ or ‘disrelish’ or ‘not according to my taste or liking’

4. “Always”

You may be thinking why this word is not right. It’s right but when you use it in the wrong situation, it can arise powerful adverse emotions.

Like when you are in a fight with someone or you are angry at someone. You tend to blame others for doing the same thing ‘ALWAYS’. When you use this word in such a situation you exaggerate your emotions and point out how others are always wrong or doing wrong things. The reality can be that others may be doing it 10 times out of 100. But just because of your outburst you use this simple word so strongly in a destructive manner that you hurt people around you. Try not to use ‘Always’ words when you are angry. Practice it.

You can replace this word with sometimes or many times, usually.

5. “Accuse”

This word should be used carefully. When talking to your loved ones don’t use this word as it can create a fear of being wrongly judged or misunderstood and hurt others.
Like – “You accused me of something I have never done.” Replace it with “You held me responsible for something I have never done.”

6. “Stressed”

This word is commonly used for every situation where someone is nervous about anything. Stress is the number one in today’s lifestyle disease. One should not use this serious word in lighter contexts
Like “I am stressed out whether I will get this job or not” Replace it with “I am concerned about whether I will get this job or not”

7. “Worried”

Yeah! I know it seems to be a simple word. But try speaking it how does it make you feel? It makes you worried unnecessarily. This word gives your imagination wings as something wrong is definitely going to happen.
For eg., “I am worried that how will I tackle this situation.” You can replace it with ‘Concerned’ You are usually concerned about each and every small or big situation in your life. You feel concerned, not worried.

8. “Rude”

When someone doesn’t behave in a pleasant way, you call him/her rude. This word distant you from that person forever. That’s why this word should be avoided while describing someone.
This word can be replaced by ‘Cold’.

Now make a list of words that makes you angry, sad, or pessimistic. Replace them with lighter words. Practice it in everyday life. Sooner this will become your habit and you will create positivity within you and around you. This will make your life happier, joyful and easy. Your emotional issues will be resolved. You won’t have to suppress your emotions. You can let them come out but in a positive manner without hurting others.
Learn to use constructive words and make your life and relationships as you want it to be.

Organize your mind to achieve anything in your life

Organise your Mind

Creating the desired life is never easy. It takes lots of efforts and right choices. Since childhood, you keep on absorbing every information around you. You don’t realize that you need to sort this information while storing it and it is so because no one teaches you to do this.

All this enormous information creates a complex mind. It includes survival skills, behavioral skills, emotions, etc. Everything which makes your personality. If you don’t organize all this knowledge, you become a confused mind.

A confused, sad, or unpleasant mind will invariably lead you on a wrong path. A path which will neither lead you to your destination nor you will enjoy the journey. You will feel lost all the time without realizing the reason behind it.

Any journey is first planned in mind. You make a mind map and then start walking towards your goal. But if your mind is confused then how will you make a correct map? So before starting any journey organize your mind. Below tactics can be handy to organize the mind:

Note-taking – When you initiate the process of organizing your mind, remember, you have to consider your own thoughts without being influenced by others or what others think. Contemplate what you think, what you feel, what you want without any beliefs and prejudice.

1. Put your mind out on paper

First of all, write down about your current mental, physical and surrounding situations on a paper. Bring everything out of your mind on paper. Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Also, jot down all questions on a paper. Now you have your thoughts on paper.

Organise your Thoughts

2. Prioritize your questions

Take one question at a time. The most important thoughts should be addressed first, which are impacting your current situation most. Prioritizing will help you to decide which problem needs a solution right away and what can be postponed.

Let’s see the famous Eisenhower Matrix:
Sort your thoughts
You should have only one list for both personal and business tasks. This way you will have always have done something for your family / yourself and you won’t feel left out. Also try not to procrastinate too much, not even by over-managing your to-do list.

3. Make a list of Pros and cons of a decision

Your questions should be specific so that they can be evaluated by considering the effects of result.
For example- if you’re confused about your career then the question would be “should I walk on this particular career path or not?” Then your answer will have 2 parts. One side favors and other side downsides of choosing it.
Organise your mind
This answer will give you a clear picture. The most important thing is how do you see yourself in that career in the future. Close your eyes, visualize and feel it. Do you like the feeling where will you be after 5 years by choosing this career or you feel unpleasant? If you feel uncomfortable then this career is definitely not for you.

4. Let it go

once you have the result, make up your mind whether to follow that path or not. If you decide to reject then let this question go. Release it and make yourself understand that this path is not for you, so you don’t need to invest your time and energy on this question by thinking about it all the time. Letting go is one of the most crucial phases in the journey towards your success. Just drop this question.
Let your useless thoughts go away

5. Visualize your decision

if you decide to follow the path, then take one day imagining your future with that decision. Assume that you have taken the decision and you are living it. This way you will be more sure about your decision whether it’s a good decision or not. Do you truly want this future? Will you be content after reaching your destination?
Organise your mind_Visualize

6. Make a road map

Now when you know what you want. Make a road map as to how do you plan to reach your decisions. Anticipate the support you will be getting and discomforts or barriers which you can face on the way. This strategy will prepare you for unpleasant surprises.
Organisze your mind_Road map

7. Start walking towards your goal

After you have created a road map for yourself, you’re ready to walk towards your dream destination.
Organise your mind_Achieve your dreams
Use this method with all the questions in your mind. Sometimes you may find out that your priorities have changed while organizing the thoughts. The problems which seemed most urgent turn out hollow or unimportant. That’s okay if you find that out. This is the exact purpose of organizing the mind, to find a clear picture of your mind. Declutter it, Prioritize it and make decisions.

After you have come to a conclusion about what you want or what you have decided with respect to your current situation, jot down your decisions. Write it on a paper in large font on a wall in your room, where you can read it every now and then. This way you will induce positivity & strength in your decisions.

This will further keep your head straight and focused on your goals. Once your mind is organized, you can achieve anything in life. Your productivity will be increased as you will be doing what needs to be done at that moment, instead of wasting time on thinking mundane things. Therefore, be organized not only physically but mentally too.

This is my success mantra. I have been practicing it for a long time. I hope that it works for you too.
If you think something can be added, please let me know in the comment section.

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