Concentrate on only each other’s faults
We flaunt our achievement and be very proud of our own features & habits. But when it comes to our partners, we only concentrate on what they are not good at, what their weaknesses are, what their bad habits are. Then it covers up our mind to notice the good characteristics of them. It’s like “You only see what you want to see”. Can it be good for a relationship?
Self-awareness versus Selfishness
These days we are being taught a lot about self-awareness during our childhood. For example, you must be aware of your rights. Like the right to be happy, the right to achieve something you want in life, the right to live life on his / her own terms, the right to deserve the best. Soon this self-awareness turns into utter selfishness. Awareness about our own right is good but how far is it good to neglect other people rights while only looking into our own rights? Especially in relationships, isn’t it right of the other persons to be happy, to be free, and to deserve the best?
We want the best partner because we think it’s our right to have one. But can we be the best partner for the other one? We get obsessed with ourselves so much that we forget to do the self-assessment. Is it the right thing to do?
Treating each other as property
We call our partners as significant ones. But are we treating them the right way? Once we get married, we think our partner as property and start possessing him or her. If your life partner is beautiful or talented than flaunting them is acceptable but showing off them like possession, is it fair? But it happens in marriages. We cannot own a person. The more we try, the more we lose him or her.
How will a marriage work if one person starts thinking and realizing his / her partner that now they are married and he/she cannot leave him/her? He/ she cannot do anything without him/her. They start feeling that their partner has no existential value without them. Partner is not to be treated as a possession. Can a human be a possession?
We want to be loved but don’t want to give
We are so much obsessed with the idea of taking that we don’t want to give anything back. Love is a mutual feeling. If We want to be loved then we should also be ready to give. We only want attention from our partner but don’t want to give back anything. We forget that our partner is also in this relationship to get love. He/she also has the same desire to be loved as we do.
Love is a sacred feeling. How many of us are ready to give? How many of us are ready to surrender to love? Sending flowers through an app is not love. Love is when you buy flowers by yourself and make efforts to reach your partner. This action should be taken by your own desire not that how your partner has asked for it. Of course, your partner will love it, yet it would be more appreciable when you do it with your own heart and not after her request.