Building a long- term relationship is a challenging task. First, it requires lots of efforts and patience to find the significant other. But what happens when you find one?
Maintaining a long-term relationship becomes another headache.
It takes both the partners to build a strong and long-lasting relationship. But it doesn’t mean you can’t do anything alone. Take the initiative for a long-term relationship.
Take control of your relationship in your hands. Build it together with your partner from the very beginning.
“It takes a firm foundation to build tall and strong buildings.”
Now let’s go over smart women’s dos and don’ts for a healthy and long-term relationship.
1. Communication is the key: To say or not to say
We all have experienced the fear of being wrong or sounding stupid. This dilemma keeps us from saying things that we really want to convey.
So the first thing that you need to keep in mind is to communicate properly.
Don’t expect your man to read between the lines. Men are result-oriented and they are providers. It’s in their nature. So, let your man know whatever is going on in your head.
Convey what exactly you want him to do. Tell him if you want flowers every day.
2. Respect him as he is
When you live with your partner, try to get along while understanding his nature. He is new to you and you are new to him as well. Give him some time to understand you and take your time to understand him. Respect is a necessity for every long-term relationship.
Respect him as you respect yourself.
Tell him how you want him to treat you. And you too have to treat him well.
Respect his feelings. He will reciprocate for sure. Men don’t say it out loud, but they get hurt too if you ignore their feelings.
Don’t use foul language in any heated situation. You would definitely regret it in the future.
A man will do anything for his woman who respects him.
3. Admire your man
Women aren’t the only ones who want admiration from their partner. Actually, everyone likes to be admired by their loved ones. Keeping this in mind, admire your man to boost his ego and confidence in your relationship. He may not care the countless times you’ve said ‘I love you’ to him. But he’d love to hear WHY you love him. Show him how much you appreciate him. This appreciation will inspire him to be a better person and a better partner or husband.
Show him how much you want him and love him. You don’t need to wait for special moments. Create those moments. Let him know that he’s the only one for you.
4. Don’t praise another man in front of him
How would you feel if your man praises other women in front of you? Women sometimes get jealous of their own sister. And yes, men can get jealous too. This is not just a woman-only trait.
He may not express his feelings while you’re praising another man, but he would take it to his heart. If you think that someone is smart or good-looking, just avoid saying it in front of him. Of course, you don’t mean to compare your partner to some other man, but you may hurt him unintentionally.
No matter how close you were with your male school friends, just don’t mention all that to him. Anyway, no other man matters, right? You’ve already got the best person in your life. Tell him he’s the best.
5. Give him some space
When in love, women often get too carried away. They sometimes overdo things unconsciously. Remember not to make your relationship the center of your life.
Your relationship is a part of your life, don’t make it your life.
Give him some space. Let him breathe.
If you are a homemaker, then join some hobby classes. If you’re working, then go out with your office friends occasionally and let him spend that time as he wants. But tell him in advance about your plans. Now you both are together and responsible for each other.
6. Organize well
Merge your calendars. So that neither of you misses each other’s important occasions, like office parties where office people have to bring their spouse. Organizing will help you balance some “me time” and quality time with your partner.
7. Don’t be judgmental
When you have just started living together, don’t worry too much about his friends’ and family’s opinions of him. Just observe and learn. Don’t judge him from the start. He may not tell you everything in words, as men are not as good as women in communication. Give him a chance to show you who he truly is.
8. Have patience
Women often scream and shout when they are angry or hurt. And these make men uncomfortable. The reason behind this is, they don’t actually understand why women scream or shout when they are hurt. They don’t know how to console you.
The only thing they know is that a person needs to be alone when he/she is hurt or angry. They prefer to be alone themselves when they burst in emotions.
During confrontations or discussions, be patient and calm. Those outbursts won’t help you, rather they will harm your relationship badly.
9. Be truthful
He is your life partner. Don’t keep secrets from him. Secrets have mysterious ways to come out, and most of those ways are ugly. So don’t let those secrets harm your relationship life long. You love this man, don’t you?
10. Don’t compare your partner with anybody else- Not even your parents
Girls, you need to keep this in your mind that your partner and father are both different persons. Your father could be an excellent person. But your husband is someone you’ve fallen for. Nobody can make you feel the way he does. Be grateful for having him in your life. He may be better than your father at that age.
11. Don’t make a fuss out of general discussions
You both may not agree with each other on some matters. Just accept to disagree and move on. Don’t start fighting on trivial matters. Also, don’t drag these matters to your bedroom. I am sure you understand that well. Nothing is more important than your relationship.
12. Don’t try to change your partner
The bitter truth of life, you can’t change people unless they want to change themselves. So don’t try to fix your man. Understand him and accept him. You only need love for your relationship. He is your husband, not an employee, whose performance you want to improve.
13. Surprise him with special treats
Who doesn’t like surprises? Plan occasional treats for him, like cooking or ordering his favourite food, or wearing his favourite dress before he arrives home after work. Express him you care about his likes.
It’s okay to ask him straight about his likes and dislikes. He would love to share because your concern reflects that you care.
14. Love him sincerely
The most important ingredient of a successful long-term relationship is ‘Love’. Love your man unconditionally. Express your love with wholeness. You both are together in this, be it ups or downs. Love him.
Don’t just be on the receiving end. Shower your love too. You must have heard love can conquer anything. Don’t bring ego in your relationship. There should be no ‘I’ in a relationship, only ‘we’.
15. Don’t keep count of mistakes
Always remember that your partner will do his share of mistakes and you will do yours.
Don’t keep count of each other’s mistakes. Cherish your moments together. Happy memories make a happy future. You will never get those past moments back. Leave the past behind and look forward towards the future.
16. Be fearless
New relationships bring excitement into your life. But they also bring some fears, like fear of looking or sounding stupid, fear of being failed at something (like cooking maybe?), fear of hurting your lover, fear of being imperfect and many others.
Don’t let these fears force you to make silly mistakes. These fears are mutual. He may have the same feeling as you do. Show your true self to your partner. Don’t keep secrets.
Respect each other’s imperfections. Enjoy them and let them blow away in the air with a dash of laughter. Don’t make your relationship serious. Keep laughter alive.
Well, you are not alone in this new relationship; he is also with you. It’s been wisely said that in a relationship, the other person becomes the mirror image of you.
Be conscious about how you get along with this new person in a new role. He is new to this husband’s role as you are new to a wife’s role.
Men are wired to behave differently than women. I am not saying that you ignore yourself totally. Explain to him what you want in this relationship. Grow together. He may be the best thing that ever happened in your life and vice versa. Be careful and nurture your relationship for long life.
And if you want to begin a new relationship, start your journey with this amazing guide.