I’ve come across many people swamped in their love relationship. The reason could be a tiny misunderstanding, too. Sometimes, the love for the person makes them feel stuck. When they can’t find a way to make their relationship strong, they think of leaving their partner. And some even choose to live miserably instead of solving the situation.
In both cases, you feel resentment whenever it comes to your love life. If you want to take the bull by horns and want to find a solution, then this article is a must-read for you.
If you’re just starting your relationship, don’t forget to check this insightful article before getting into love life.
Now, this article can help both girls and guys who want to make their relationship strong, or if you’re just looking for the cues that can save a relationship.
1. Possessive and obsessive love
It’s natural to get attached to your lover that you always want to stay with them and don’t them out of your sight. If you are in love, you know how intense this feeling could be. You get feverish over your partner and don’t give enough time to other aspects of your life. You start feeling a lack. After a while, you start blaming your partner for the lack in your life.
Your life should not revolve around your partner. You will choke them with your love and it will sabotage your love life.
And what happens then?
You lose your work, friends, and eventually, you make your situation worse.
So when you fall in love, remember to maintain balance in life and make sure you give proper space to your work, friends and hobbies.
Always remember that it’s your life journey. Others are just playing a part in it. It is your life, your hobbies, your friends, your family and your choices. Dedicating some of your time to your lover is healthy, but isolating yourself from your own desires just to spend time with them is harmful in the long run.
2. Blaming your love
Love is the root of your life. It gives you the energy to grow, to fight the odds in life and to become stronger. If you want to grow up, stay connected with the roots. Nurture these roots with your utmost care and loving energy. Only then the flowers will bloom.
People blame love for their failures. Relationships fail because people think the roots cause their problems. But, in reality, they fail to nurture their roots.
In a love relationship, they often give away too much to the roots and never let their relationship rise to see the sun and grow up. Naturally, the roots get rotten. In such a case, people think of cutting the roots. Well, it’s always easy ‘to cut something off’ when you can’t deal with a situation.
But this won’t make your relationship strong. If you want to grow, then focus on the roots and nurture them. Roots always stay below the surface in total darkness, unseen, but they uphold the entire tree.
3. Impractical expectations
You want your lover to be the same as they were on the day when you first met them. This is simply not possible. Because the world is dynamic. Organisms change by each passing moment. Some people go higher in life and career, and some stay stuck in their mundane world. Those who get stuck, also change, but they mostly change for the worse; they get filled with hatred, remorse, jealousy, and resentment.
Because at the bottom of their heart, they blame their lover for all the unfortunate situations.
Take a break to ponder if you remotely feel your partner is taking you down an endless tunnel. Don’t let this happen between you two. Don’t pull your lover’s leg. Respect the change in your lover and help them grow. Be part of their journey.
4. Comparing and contrasting your lover
You create an image of your lover in your head. This image could be anything, like the one you have from the day you first met, or it could be imagining someone else’s qualities in your lover. You expect your lover to reciprocate according to that image.
Now, this is simply not possible.
Your unique lover cannot match up to the image in your mind. Because it’s just an illusion. And no matter how delightful the illusion may seem, it will remain just an imagination. So, no need to compare your lover to it.
5. Giving enough space to your partner
All human beings have infinite possibilities to become. Sometimes, unknowingly or because of unawareness, we do not give personal space to our lovers to grow. We forget to give space to them to reach their potential.
Support your partner. Do you think your partner will love you if you obstruct their personal growth?
I will make an analogy to clarify this point.
If you plant two seeds next to each other with no required space for growth, then both seeds would fight for their individual growth, and as a result, either both or one of them would slowly die of the fight.
Now, if you do not give your lover proper space, both of you would act like those two seeds planted together.
But, if you plant these two seeds with enough space between them, not only they grow high, but also they support each other’s growth and bloom together with love. So do lovers blossom when they love and respect each other and support each other’s growth. And this makes their relationship strong and healthy.
Relationships have become the most complex part of life. It’s not like there were no problems a few decades ago. But the desires and expectations of people have changed drastically in the last few years. You come across many people now and get confused. You compare your love life with others.
There are many distractions out there, but you must focus on what you have and what you want.
Communicate that well with your partner. Proper communication is always necessary. This is more helpful to get through any relationship-related situation. A relationship is about two people living and growing together. You must make efforts to solve the problems together. It can’t be one-sided.
Work on yourself, work on each other, work on your relationship together. Be loving, compassionate, and let the flowers of love blossom in your relationship.