I have come across many people who get caught in a turbulent storm in their love relationship. Neither they can move ahead due to the misunderstanding between both nor can they step back because they are in love with this person. Moreover, they can’t seem to find a way out of this storm. Some start by feeling to cut off their partner from their life and some choose to live miserably by not solving the situation.
In both cases, you will live with a grudge when you will realize what you have done to your love life. If you are one of those who believe to take the bull by the horns and find the solution, then this article is a must-read for you. Earlier, I wrote an article about “Before getting into a romantic relationship”. This article is about how to deal with troubles in a relationship.
1. Majority of us knit our entire life around the lover
You feel so much attached to them that you don’t want to lose them out of your sight. That feeling is intense which can’t be avoided or overlooked. After a while when you start lacking in other aspects of your life, and subconsciously you start blaming your partner. if it is also happening with you then immediately stop doing that.
YOUR life should NOT be revolving around your lover. You will choke them with your love and sabotage your love life. Meanwhile, you will be losing your work too, and that inherently makes the situation worse. Therefore, when you fall in love, remember to keep everything compartmentalized and ensure you have proper space for everything in your life. Don’t just eliminate other people, work, or hobbies from your life.
YOU must be the center of your life journey, not others. Others are just playing a part in your existing life. It should be YOUR life, choices, hobbies, friends, and family. Dedicating some of your time to your lover is healthy, but isolating yourself from your own desires just to spend time with the lover is harmful in the long run.
2. Love is the root of every human’s life
Love gives you the energy to grow, to fight the odds in life, to become stronger. If you want to grow up then stay connected with the roots. Nurture it with your utmost care and loving energy. Then only the flowers will bloom. People blame ‘love’ for their failures. Relationships fail because people think that roots are the cause of their problems, whereas, in reality, they themselves have failed to nurture the roots.
In love, they give away too much to the roots & never let it rise to see the sun and to grow up. The roots get rotten. Or else they simply think that they will have to cut away the roots to reach the sky. Because it seems the easiest way “TO CUT SOMETHING OFF”. That’s impossible. No tree can grow without the roots. If you want to grow then focus on the roots; nurture them. Roots always stay below the surface in total darkness, unseen, but they are doing upholding the entire upper part for the growth of the tree.
3. You always expect your lover to be the same
You want your lover to be the same as he/she was on the day when you first met him/her. This is simply not possible. Because every organism in this world changes by every passing moment for better or worse. Some people go higher in life and career yet some stay stuck in their mundane world. Those who stay stuck also change but they mostly change for worse; they get filled with hatred, remorse, jealousy, and resentment.
Because at the bottom of their heart they blame their lover for all the unfortunate situations. Take a break to ponder if you remotely feel that your partner is taking you down a tunnel where there is no end Don’t let this happen between your lover and you. Don’t pull his / her leg, let him/her take their chances; to explore their possibilities. Respect the change in your lover and help him grow. Be part of his/her journey.
4. You create an image in your mind
This image can be anything like you save an image of the lover as he/she was on the first day or you imagine someone else’s qualities in your lover. You expect from your lover to reciprocate according to that image. Nonetheless, your lover who is unique fails to match up to your expectations due to his/her non-resemblance to the image in your mind. This is simply an illusion and no matter how delightful the illusion may seem, in the end, it is just an illusion.
5. You don’t give enough space to the lover
All human beings have infinite possibilities to become. But sometimes, unknowingly or due to unawareness, we don’t give personal space to our lovers to grow; to reach his/her full potential. Whereas we should be supporting our partner’s growth. How will such a person love you if you have hindered their personal growth? Both of you are like those two seeds who are sow/planted together.
If two seeds are sown next to each other without any required space for growth, then both seeds fight for their individual growth, and as a result, either both or one of them slowly die of the incessant fight. However, If you sow these two seeds with a little space between them, not only they grow high, but they also support each other’s growth and bloom together with love. So do lovers blossom when they love and respect each other and support each other’s growth.
Relationships have become the most complex part of anyone’s life. It’s not that there were no problems a few decades ago, but the desires and expectations of people have changed drastically in the last few years. You come across many people now and get confused. You start comparing your love life with others. There are many distractions out there, but you must focus on what you have and what you want.
Communicate that well with your partner. Proper communication is key here. This will be more helpful to get through any relationship situation. A relationship is about two people living and growing together. You must make efforts to solve the problems together. it can’t be one-sided. Work on yourself, work on each other, work on your relationship together. Be loving, kind and compassionate and let the flowers of love blossom in your relationship.